What Hurts The Most?
by erisnx
Summary: What hurts the most, dying and leaving the one you love unprotected? Or living and having to endure the pain of losing your loved one? Oneshot, songfic. No sexual content.


**Disclaimer: I do not own 'Naruto' or any of its characters. Oh and I don't own 'What Hurts The Most or Rascal Flatts either so call off the lawyers!**

**Pen Name: sarahh86**

_What Hurts The Most_

_My first one-shot songfic *gulp* I based this on a song called 'What Hurts The Most' by Rascal Flatts. It's very touching and I hope you all like the way I put it into the story. Although I usually write out stories that have a happy ending I changed it a little this time. I still hope you like it. This is for my favorite pair in the whole wide world. Go NaruHina!_

"It's up to you on whether you take the mission or not." Tsunade told him. She was hoping in her heart that he would refuse although the chances of him doing so were very, very slim knowing the unusual circumstances.

Naruto clenched his fists tightly. This was a suicide mission. The chances of him coming back alive were one in fifty. It was almost a certainty he would die. He could refuse but how would he feel in betraying his village, his people, and especially his friend, Sasuke?

He couldn't do that. He knew Sasuke would've gone if he could but since that was impossible it was up to him. He was doing this for his friend's honor, for his village, for everyone.

If he died, no, correct that, _when_ he died he would be remembered as a great hero and finally earn his respect, the respect that he had always wanted.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

"I'm taking it grandma. I'm not about to give up the chance to avenge Sasuke." Naruto said, looking up at the Fifth Hokage with a look of defiance. His blue eyes were full of hatred and maybe that was a player in his rash decision but Tsunade knew that even if another person had been killed instead of Sasuke, Naruto would have still wanted to go on this mission. He was like that.

She sighed and tried to hide the tears in her eyes. He was choosing death for the sake of avenging his friend. Tsunade stared at her desk and spoke to him very softly. "Very well then. Rest up today because you have to leave tomorrow."

He nodded and stepped out of her office and walked on the streets of his beloved village one more time. Not much had changed. There were many new, young Genin in the village but the Jounins were mostly dead. Most of the people Naruto had ever cared about were gone. Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sasuke-they were all gone, killed by either the Akatsuki or Orochimaru.

_I'm not afraid to cry _

_Every once in a while _

_Even though_

_Going on with you gone_

_Still upsets me_

The whole damn business had started when Sasuke had been killed in a mission. Team 7 had been ordered to bring down Orochimaru. All of them were high-level Jounins and were equally as strong as several Anbus so the mission should've been somewhat of a success. Orochimaru had led them into a trap and he had killed Sasuke. Sasuke, his friend, his best friend was now dead, stuck in the ground unable to fulfill his vengeance against the one person he hated more than Itachi. Naruto was going to fulfill it for him.

This time it was going to be different. This time Naruto would finally kill Orochimaru even though nobody thought it was possible, not even Tsunade. Nobody trusted in him but he would show the world. He would show them.

The only thing he would regret was not being able to see his glory. The Reaper Death Seal was going to take his life as well. The Fourth had died sealing the Nine-Tailed Fox inside of him and the Third had died in taking Orochimaru's ninjutsu. Now it was Naruto's turn, to take Orochimaru's _life._

Looking at the ground in deep concentration, he didn't notice Hinata walking towards him.

_There are days _

_Every now _

_And again _

_I pretend _

_I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

The Jounin glanced up the shy, pretty girl that had been the reason for all his hard work. He would miss her smile, her laugh, but most of all her kind eyes that always understood him.

"Are you going on the mission Naruto?" she asked in her quiet manner. She hoped in her heart that he had refused.

"Yeah." he answered, just as quiet.

She bit her lip in anger and anguish. "Please don't go." she said and gripped his arm, forgetting that she had never touched him before.

Her voice was almost enough to make him turn back around but he couldn't. He wouldn't betray his best friend. Sasuke would've wanted to defeat Orochimaru so that he would finally be able to restore his clan in peace without any threats but it wasn't meant to be.

"I have to Hinata. I have to avenge Sasuke. He was my best friend and you know how he wanted to defeat Orochimaru. I have to do it for him." he said through gritted teeth.

Hinata's eyes filled with tears. The only person she had ever felt love for was going to die. He was going to leave her with no hope, no sun, and no energy to live.

Naruto's heart swelled at watching his friend about to cry for him. If he let himself see her cry then he would turn back and he couldn't allow himself to do that.

He grabbed her arms and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and left just in time before Hinata's tears fell down her pale cheeks.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

He hated to leave her forever this way but it was better like this. She would marry someone worthy of her gentleness who had an enormous family with a good family name. He had nothing to offer her except this unconditional and uncorresponded affection that would never die, even when he did. The Hyuuga family would never accept him even if by some miracle Hinata did love him, more than just a mere friend.

"I love you so much Hinata." he whispered to himself as he stared at the moon, trying to fall asleep. He closed his eyes and slept, dreaming of the only angel he wanted in death.

************************************************************************

It was morning and the time had come.

Naruto was at the gates of Konoha waiting for Neji, Shikamaru, and several other ninja show up. He wasn't nervous or anxious. All he wanted was to get this over with quickly. He wanted to go ahead and make his whole village safe and make Sasuke finally rest in peace.

He saw the female ninja approach them with blurry eyes. They weren't coming on the mission but they were giving the men several potions and natural remedies in case they got injured severely, at least those who had a chance.

Sakura, Temari, Tenten, Ino, and Hinata all carried something in their hands for the skilled ninja.

The pain in the women's eyes was evident. Some of their loved ones weren't coming back. Some of them would never see their children again.

At first Naruto had been opposed to Neji and Shikamaru going since they both had young children but they were just as stubborn as he was and they all wanted to play a part in taking down Orochimaru. Sasuke was a comrade after all and they weren't going to turn their back on the Leaf Village Uchiha.

He saw Tenten and Neji exchange an embrace. They had been married for two years now and if Neji was lucky, they would be three in two weeks.

The same was true for Shikamaru and Temari. It had taken much out of him to prove himself to her brothers but the lazy guy had finally done it. The genius was probably going to come home safe and sound.

Choji and Ino hugged tightly, just as friends. Ino had stopped her crush on Shikamaru the second she noticed he had a thing for Temari and found a good, trusting friend in Choji. So far it was friendship and if destiny allowed it, it would grow.

Sakura handed Lee an ointment for his soon-to-be injuries and then turned to Naruto.

"Please Naruto," she started with bloodshot eyes full of tears. "I already lost Sasuke, I don't want to lose you too."

Naruto gritted his teeth and glanced to the side. "He would've wanted me to take Orochimaru down for him. I have to do this Sakura."

It hurt his heart to see her sad like this, to see her suffering. She had suffered enough for Sasuke and now he was opening another wound in his almost-sister.

Hinata stared up at the man she had admired for so long and loved even longer. He was going to die. He wasn't going to come back. He was going to become a hero at the cost of her happiness.

_And never knowing_

_What could've been_

_And not seeing that loving you _

_Is what I was trying to do_

Pure tears formed on her face. He was leaving and doing something honorable for the village. She should be happy that he was engraving himself in the history of Konoha. She should be happy that he was finally going to have the respect he always wanted. But what she should feel and what she _was_ feeling were both two very different things.

Naruto looked at the dark-blue haired woman in tears. He crept closer to her and stroked her cheek gently. "Don't cry." he pleaded. It broke his heart to see her so destroyed.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doing it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

"I can't help it," she said in a half-strangled voice. "I care for you too much."

Naruto snickered bitterly. "I'm nobody Hinata. I shouldn't be the cause of your tears-"

"Do you have any idea of how much you mean to me you dense idiot?" she interrupted with her sudden boldness startling both of them.

Naruto's breath came out ragged. "How much do you care for me then?" he said in a low voice.

Hinata's boldness left her and she was replaced with uncertainty and fear like always.

"Naruto, it's time." Shikamaru called out to him, stopping Hinata from saying her true feelings to him.

Naruto nodded and took the ointment Hinata held out to him. He turned to leave and took two steps before he finally realized something.

He finally realized why she had always blushed, always stuttered, and always wanted to be near him.

He gave Hinata bravery, force, strength, that much was expected. She looked up to him like a hero. What wasn't expected was the fact that she looked back at him the way he looked back at her.

Naruto felt like slamming his fist through a brick wall. How could he have been so dense? Had everyone noticed except for him?

He turned back and stared wide-eyed at his love with seeing eyes. Finally he saw what she was too shy to say to him.

He pulled her close to him and put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her roughly. He could taste her soul on those beautiful lips. He could taste all of his corresponded affection.

He broke away with his breathing unsettled and staggering.

"I love you Hinata." he whispered in her ear.

Hinata closed her eyes and fresh tears invaded her face. She had waited so long for herself to grow strong enough to say it and in the end, he had been the one to say those words.

Naruto turned to his team and nodded. He was ready for his death. He was finally at peace. The ninjas disappeared instantly without a trace.

Sakura hugged Hinata while she sobbed uncontrollably.

"He'll come back Hinata," she said to her, through her own tears. "He'll come back just like all of them. Naruto will come back and marry you and you're going to have a house full of children and he's going to be a Hokage with you as his wife. You just wait."

_Still harder_

_Getting up_

_Getting dressed _

_Living with this regret_

_But I know _

_If I could do it over_

_I would treat _

_Give away _

_All the words _

_That I've saved in my heart _

_That I've left unspoken_

************************************************************************

"How much do we have left?" Shikamaru called out to Kiba. As the leader he needed to know everything.

"Not much. Akamaru and I can already smell them close. There's not many of them. There's only the rest of the Akatsuki and Orochimaru."

"Alright. Naruto, are you sure you wouldn't want any of us to do it?" Shikmaru asked him.

He shook his head, making his blond bangs swish in the wind. "None of you have even seen this jutsu in action. I'm the only one who can do it. The best you can do is cover for me and take down the rest of the Akatsuki."

"And pray for you." Neji muttered.

Naruto paused and sighed. "And pray for me." he repeated.

His eyes shot wide open with sudden remembrance and he called out to Neji "Hey Neji! I know we haven't exactly been friends but would you do a favor for a comrade?"

Neji was slightly taken aback. "What kind of favor?"

Naruto closed his eyes and clutched his first so that he wouldn't break down. "Take-take good care of Hinata for me would you?"

A sound of shock came from Neji's throat. He kept his eyes forward and kept flying through the trees at a dizzying speed. "I will. Don't worry about her."

For a couple of moments there was silence as all of the team members thought about the one sure person that wouldn't be coming back.

Neji smiled and turned to look at his blond companion. "You would've made an excellent cousin-in law."

Naruto smiled too even though his heart was saying otherwise.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

************************************************************************

Hinata wiped the porcelain cup dry and headed towards the next dirty dish when she felt a strong pain in her heart.

Hinata dropped the glass she was holding and stared urgently out of the window. Her heart was beating at an abnormal pace but her mind was urgently screaming one name at her.

"What's wrong?" Temari asked her as she noticed the glass shards on the floor.

"Naruto," she whispered. "Naruto's in danger!" She tried to push past Temari but she stopped her.

"Wait, hold on. It was just a bad feeling he's probably winning the fight you have to stop thinking negatively like this!"

"Temari you don't understand! He's in danger! He's being killed! I have to stop it!" She finally pushed Temari out of the way and ran to the outskirts of Konoha.

Temari raced after her but she couldn't catch her. She was already a good way ahead of her. She could've gone in her fan after her but the wind was blowing the wrong way. Hinata was too fast to just chase after her.

"Dammit!" she groaned and went to tell Lady Tsunade and the rest of the girls about what Hinata had done.

************************************************************************

Naruto fell to the ground as he coughed up blood. The stupid son of a bitch had caught him off guard.

"Well Naruto you've grown, though it seems that you're still hotheaded as usual. Just like Jiraiya used to be when we were young."

Naruto's eyes blazed with anger. "I'm going to kill you for every single person that you've slain."

Orochimaru let out a laugh. "So you say, but how about if you prove it?"

Naruto launched at Orochimaru at full power. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Instantly a hundred or so Naruto clones charged at Orochimaru. One by one they were destroyed. Orochimaru never recovered the use of his hands, not that he needed to. His taijutsu was good enough to make up for it. That and his freaking ugly tongue.

"Hold him down!" the real Naruto cried out and his clones obeyed his command. Five of them tackled Orochimaru and held him pinned.

Naruto moved his hands rapidly. "This is it. Today we both die!"

_And never knowing_

_What could've been_

_And not seeing that loving you _

_Is what I was trying to do_

Orochimaru gritted his teeth as he saw the familiar jutsu. "So you're going to try using the Reaper Death Seal aren't you?"

Naruto gritted his teeth as Orochimaru laughed. Something was wrong.

"Did you honestly think that a mere Jounin could defeat me, one of the Sannin?"

Naruto froze in shock. The real Orochimaru was behind him and Naruto was holding a clone. He couldn't move. The Reaper was already pulling the clone of Orochimaru in with Naruto helpless to stop it.

He turned his head slightly to the back and saw that Orochimaru had a sword in his tongue. Naruto saw every single useless mission that had led him here and he cursed himself for not being wiser and not taking down the only person that would be a threat for his world.

Orochimaru started to plunge the knife into him.

"No!" Her scream was loud enough for the other members of the Leaf Village to see what was about to happen. She darted in front of the sword and it plunged into her body, saving Naruto from certain death.

"Hinata!" he screamed. What had she done? She had taken the blow meant for him and now she was the one dying, the one leaving him instead of the other way around. It was hard enough for him to leave her but now-she was the one leaving him. Alone, just like he'd been before he met her.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

Naruto struggled to force his arms to move and he made the release sign to free himself. His arms weren't cooperating though and it took much energy for them to let go of Orochimaru's clone. He tore himself away from the clone and held Hinata up before she hit the ground. The wound was very deep and it cut all the way to her back. Blood was pouring out in alarming quantities and her pupiless eyes were barely open.

"Hinata why? Why did you do that? You should've just let me die!" Naruto yelled at her with his own eyes getting misty. Leaving her was hard enough-but having her leave him was unbearable. She couldn't leave him, no-she couldn't.

Naruto held Hinata tightly to him and closed his eyes. No. She couldn't die like this. Not now. Not now!

The Hinata in Naruto's arms was dismissed with a faint pop and he turned to see the real Hinata racing from the forest.

Naruto realized it immediately. She was going to take on Orochimaru for him and he couldn't allow that. He started to stand up…

And Hinata summoned a clone behind Naruto. She clone plunged her palm into Naruto's back and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Now she could freely concentrate on him. Hinata stared defiantly at Orochimaru, for the first time in her life feeling no fear, no worry. Her love was safe and it was her job to take him down. Her life mattered little to her if he was dead so instead of him leaving her, it was going to be her leaving him.

That would be easier for her to handle.

She poised herself in position, with one hand behind her and one in front. Her Byakugan had been activated some time ago, to copy one jutsu she had never seen before…

Orochimaru sneered at her. "You're one of the Byakugan heirs, the weakest one-am I right?"

Hinata held her head high. Nothing he said could hurt her. She was past caring.

She launched at him with her hand and tried to slice through his body. He leapt back and used his splendid taijutsu to knock her down on her feet. She used her hands to swing herself back up and seeing how Orochimaru was looking confident, pulled her secret attack.

Hinata quickly pressed her hands and fingers together in a swirl of motion that Orochimaru recognized quickly.

"Not that trick again!" he screeched. He started to attack her but the Hinata clone by Naruto's side held him back.

"There's no escaping this." Hinata said to him. She looked at Naruto's unconscious body, one last time, and then completed the hand sign.

_And never knowing_

_What could've been_

_And not seeing that loving you _

_Is what I was trying to do_

Orochimaru was held in an iron grip by the Reaper and his soul was rapidly being removed from his body. Hinata too, was weakening. Her powers were enough to finish him off but after that…nothing.

Neji flung off his opponent and gasped for breath. Finally, he was done with him. He fell to his knees and tried to regain what little of his energy he had left. He turned to see who was still alive.

Kiba was covered in blood, half-unconscious as he laid on the ground. Akamaru was near him.

Shikamaru was on his knees, holding an opponent in place with his Shadow Possession jutsu. Beads of sweat were rolling down his face.

Choji was laying on his side, unmoving. His opponent laid opposite him.

Gaara of the Sand was battered and he was trembling in exhaustion. His sand armor was completely broken away and he had to keep using more and more chakra to prevent himself from getting hurt.

Lee was on one knee, his face badly bruised but he seemed alright. Out of all of them the one in best condition was probably him.

Neji turned to see how Naruto was doing and surprise invaded his senses as he saw Naruto on the ground…and his cousin holding Orochimaru in a death grip with a strange jutsu.

His eyes widened. What was she doing here? Had she come to protect Naruto?

"Lee!" Neji's voice was grave as he called out to his friend.

"Yes! What is it?"

"Go help Shikamaru, he looks like he's in trouble. I have to go see what's going on over by Orochimaru." he called out. He was getting a bad feeling in his stomach. He had never seen his cousin do that specific jutsu…

"I saw the whole thing," Gaara intervened, with his low voice. "She came and saved him just as Orochimaru was getting ready to hit him with a blade. She put a clone in his place and briefly made Naruto unconscious while she did the Reaper Death Seal," He paused to catch his breath. "If you plan to save her I suggest to run over to her quickly. She's dying as we speak."

"You better get to her quick Neji," Shikamaru suggested, grimly trying to keep his opponent from moving. "If Hinata dies that idiot is going to think suicide is the best way to go."

Neji got on his feet and struggled to regain his lost energy. As soon as he could use his Byakugan he ran very quickly to where his cousin was.

He got there too late. Just as he stopped to check on Naruto, both Orochimaru and Hinata fell to the ground.

"Hinata, are you alright?" he asked, worriedly. He had never felt much affection for her cousin but now that she was here, so weak, he wished he could've defended her.

"Is he dead?" Hinata asked, breathing hard. Her will was slipping. Another few minutes and she would no longer be in this world.

Neji glanced at Orochimaru's still body. His eyes were wide open but there was no sign he was planning on ever moving again.

"Yes, he's dead." he told her.

She closed her eyes. "That's-that's a relief." she said, straining her voice.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked her, completely bewildered.

Hinata opened her eyes. "Because-because I couldn't…bear…for him to leave me."

Neji shook his head. He would've never thought her brave enough to do this. He never would've thought that one day she would defeat one of the Sannin by giving up her own life to save someone that had never paid any mind to her.

"Neji," she groaned out. Her voice was weakening. "Neji…wake up Naruto so that I-so I can talk to him…one last time."

He set her down as gently as he could and went to Naruto. He shook him and he groaned hoarsely.

"Where…what happened?" he groaned as he rubbed his aching head. Then it all came back to him. Hinata.

"Hinata?" He glanced at Neji and pushed him aside to get to her side. His eyes were full of anger and despair. No! It wasn't supposed to be like this! She wasn't supposed to leave him!

"Why did you do it Hinata, why?" he cried gathering her worn body against his. His sapphire eyes were glowing with dark mist. His eyes were full of pain.

"Because I love you." she whispered tenderly. She gathered as much strength as she could and lifted one hand to his cheek. "I could've given you children," she whispered with tears brimming in her eyes. "I could've given you so much but I couldn't bear you leaving me. I couldn't take it."

"You're so stupid!" Naruto said as he gathered her tightly against him closing his eyes to keep his tears from falling out. He wouldn't cry, not in front of Neji.

Neji sensed the atmosphere and chose to leave. There was nothing he could do anyway. The Reaper Death Seal would kill Hinata any minute now. They had to say their goodbyes.

"You can't leave me." he whispered against her face. He planted kisses over cheeks, over her eyelids, everywhere on her beautiful face.

She chuckled and coughed as exhaustion began to take her. "I'm sorry."

Naruto felt his face wet although he didn't think about it twice. She was dying. She was leaving him. He leaned in towards her and joined her lips to his, one final time. When he pulled back, she was immobile, with a small smile on her face.

_Not seeing that loving you_

_That's what I was trying to do…_

The agony that surpassed him afterwards was unbearable and the knife that he was aiming at his heart was stopped by his friends.

For months, he didn't smile and he never found a reason to laugh again…

_Five years later…_

"Naruto it's time!" Sakura called out from his office.

He nodded and proceeded to walk outside with Sakura and the Fifth Hokage following him.

He stood outside at the top of the Hokage's Tower facing hundreds of people all waiting, all watching.

He spoke loudly so that everyone could hear him, "Today, fate has allowed me to complete the dream that I've always sought after. Today, I take place as the Rokudaime, the Sixth Hokage and I pledge to everyone in this village that I will protect them with my life…I promise."

The crowed beneath him cheered and a small smile formed on his lips as he remembered for who it all was for. He remembered one person who he knew was cheering him on always.

_For you Hinata_ he thought gazing up at the sky.

_For you…_

_Gosh that took a while and I'm so stupid I actually found my eyes misty (I'm slow like that) for more that once on this fanfic. I hope you enjoyed it and if the ending sounds rushed it's because I was afraid I'd actually cry. Sorry to all NaruxHina fans for killing Hinata but this idea had been in my head for the longest time. It was rated M for sadness (like I said I'm real slow). Before you say anything bad about this I know this was a really long story for such a short song and I know the way I put it in sucked but I tried my best __J. At least give me some credit. Hope you liked. Thanks for reading and remember to review._


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